Sunday, May 29, 2011
One of the things that I love most about being part of a big family is that you can be an active, accepted member of a group without having to say or do anything. There's nothing to prove - no one to win over. You're in, and that's that. There's always someone compensating, either you for someone else, or someone for you. There's so much give and take, and no significant individual stress. Living alone creates a lot of individual stress. And it is difficult. I've always had people to lean on. I've never had to fight to be part of something. It's a hard thing to learn now. Belonging is not something for which I want to fight. I want it to exist for me apart from my efforts. I'm already tired of fighting, and I've only just begun.